Yes, I am talking to you.
The guy who thinks everything is fine.
The guy who thinks his marriage is good.
The guy who can’t seem to understand why his wife isn’t as happy as she should be.
The guy who thinks that she just “nags” a bit. I’m talking to you, the guy who thinks that because you’re a good Dad and because you work a lot to provide income to your family that you’re in a good spot and the coast is clear.
Unfortunately for you, my friend, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Whether you notice or not, your wife is incredibly discontent. She’s lonely, she’s irritated, she’s bored, and she’s feeling like there isn’t much life left in the marriage.
She may not be talking much about it, but there is a deep undercurrent of dissatisfaction brewing inside her. And the worst part of all, is that you’re feeling pretty good about things.
“Nope…not my wife…my wife is happy…and she would never leave me….after all, she’s a good Christian wife.”
You might be thinking…
“He must be writing to that guy down the street who treats his wife like shit….but that’s not me….my wife doesn’t have any reason to leave me.”
Wrong on both accounts, I’m talking to you.
You see guys, it’s not completely your fault that you’re totally caught off guard and devastated when your wife initiates a divorce. She’s been giving you subtle hints for many years now, but she’s never really laid the hammer down and explicitly said, “Things need to change or I’m leaving!”
She mildly complains about this or vents about that.
She asks that you do this or to do that.
Sometimes she acts sad, and most times she acts frustrated.
You just think your wife is crazy and you and your friends make PMS jokes about the emotionality of women.
You don’t believe in the gravity of her complaints, or the sincerity of her requests and so, you just kind of blow her off.
You say to yourself, “She should be grateful…I’m not that bad…look at all the nice things we have…she’s never happy!”
What you don’t know is there is secret plot happening against you. A secession in the works. Your wife is getting stronger and developing the courage to someday really tell you how she feels. In the meantime, she’s increasingly detaching from you and her heart is pulling away. And when that day comes, the day she tells you all the hidden truth she’s been keeping from you….all of her hidden feelings….you’re going to be so caught off guard and floored you’re not going to know what hit you. At least by reading this blog you have an opportunity to anticipate the atomic bomb headed your way.
Are you in trouble?
Download my “10 Warning Signs Your Wife Is About to Leave”
So Why Am I Telling You This?
Guys, if I had a dollar for every time I heard the story of the detached woman initiating divorce on the clueless man, I would be a rich man. This isn’t the story of someone else; it could very likely be your story.
70% of divorces are initiated by women and so statistically, there’s a good probability that this story applies to you.
If you’ve gotten this far reading this, two things are probably happening:
- You probably think I’m a presumptuous asshole for making so many blanket assumptions… or/and
- There’s something I’m saying that is speaking to you.
As much as you might hate reading this, consider it a warning message from someone that cares about you. A friend. You see, your other friends are probably a lot like you, and they don’t know this stuff. Also, they’re not going to say the hard things to you partly because they’re clueless, and partly because they don’t want to be confronted with their own reality that their wife is probably checked-out too. I care enough about you to tell you the hard things and I hope you can feel my sincerity.
You Have a Choice Now
Let’s just say for fun there’s a ounce of truth in what I’m saying.
Just for fun.
What are you going to do about it?
Are you going to get offended, call me an asshole and unsubscribe? Or maybe if you’re really pissed off you’ll un-friend me from Facebook. Either of those choices are at your own peril.
If you feel irritated by reading this, then it’s a sign there’s probably something about what I’m saying this is penetrating a deeper truth within you. We (myself included) hate hearing the hard things. It confronts our denial and after all, we use denial to make us feel better. But denial is the poison pill in your marriage.
But instead of getting mad at me, or staying in denial, you can choose to become the man you were intended to be, and the man your wife needs you to be. You can be courageous, brave, and ask these questions:
- “How am I minimizing my wife’s complaints?”
- “How can I be a better husband to you?”
- “In what ways am I repeating unhealthy behavior that my Dad modeled fro me?”
- “What is your biggest frustration with me, and will you help me change it?”
- “What am I willing to do different to work on marriage?”
- “Will you go to therapy with me?”
These questions are powerful game changers – assuming you ask with absolute sincerity and a desire to do something different. Guys, I got a ton of love for you. And I care enough about you to tell you that there’s a really good chance you’re in trouble and you may not even know it. “What are you going to do about it?”
Connect with Me on Social Media!