Counter Culture Relationships
HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOUR ROLE AS A SPOUSE?
If I did a survey of married couples and asked them to tell me how they define their role of being a spouse, I’m pretty sure I know what kind of answers I would get.
I know what most people would say because I ask this question to married people every day in my practice.
Date-nights are an interesting topic in my practice. There is a lot of relationship advice on the internet suggesting how beneficial date-nights are for your relationship, but my own personal experience and the experiences of the couples I work with in couples therapy suggests that something critical might be missing from the iconic date-night.
Whenever my wife and I are lucky enough to have an evening babysitter, we excitedly think about having a date-night and all the glorious things we can do with our time together, but at times in the past, we have ended our date-night not feeling much better about us, or the connecting quality of our relationship. For many couples, date-nights are lack-luster, emotionally un-gratifying, and can often feel forced. For this reason, I do not prescribe couples to go on date-nights (not yet anyway), until some certain awareness’s are developed regarding the date-night. [Read more…]
Dad’s Get A Bad RapIt’s unfortunate how the American Dad is portrayed in our media. I keep seeing commercials of some moronic Dad doing something ridiculous with his kids followed by the shameful dismay of his disapproving wife. Despite these mocking, unfair, and stereotypical portrayals of the American Dad, the Dads I know don’t look or act anything like these ridiculous Dad’s on TV sitcoms. The Dads I know and the Dads I work with in my practice are amazing, dedicated, and deserve a million awards for the sometimes thankless job of being a great Dad. To this end, I wanted to share with you 4 really great reasons why we should celebrate the Dads in our lives this Father’s Day holiday with fervor and reckless abandon. [Read more…]
What does it take for the modern family to be successful? Statistics paint a fairly gloomy picture for the modern family. We hear stories about divorce, out-of-control teens, infidelity, “broken homes”, and sometimes even physical and emotional abuse. Definitions of a successful family vary, but most sociologists and family therapists agree on a few key fundamentals that differentiate successful families from unsuccessful families. So, how do we define success in a family? This is the definition of a successful family that I’ve come to adopt in my family therapy practice:
I recently read a research article that said:
That’s a significant statistic! 2 out of every 10 new Dads have limited support systems at a time in their lives when they’re likely needed most.
Our Culture
Unfortunately, we still live in a chronically individualist culture that promotes individualism over community – especially for men. Think; The Marlborough Man. New Dads – we need friends and we need them badly. Good friends. Life-giving friends that can help us feel connected to one another and less alone during the transition to parenthood. We have to work hard to challenge the conventional wisdom that promotes a myth that says ”I can handle this on my own”. Here a few important reasons why new Dads need good friends more than ever. [Read more…]
