Quentin Hafner

Taking Stock of Your Relationship

You are a driven, successful person and you know the importance of planning ahead. You would never walk into a board meeting or a pitch presentation without doing your homework–you probably have flow charts, graphs, and spreadsheets to demonstrate your goals and ideas.

But how many of you are trying to “wing it” through the relationships that matter the most to you?

If you are honest with yourself, when was the last time you sat down and thought intentionally about your relationship with your spouse or significant other?

When did you last assess the progress, ROI, and growth potential of your marriage?

Just like any long-term project, the relationships in your life take planning, analysis, and an investment of resources commensurate with the results you hope to see.

You know this better than anyone, but yet fail to execute this truth in the single most important area of your life.

I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to ask, “why”?

I highly recommend that you regularly meet with your partner to talk honestly and openly about your relationship. It’s ok to cover some of the practical day-to-day basics, but I want to challenge you to think deeply about the goals and dreams you each have for your Ideal Relationship.

Go beyond making time for the occasional date night to “reconnect”, or synching up your calendars so you are actually home at the same time every so often. Think bigger: add a quarterly “State of the Relationship Summit” to your calendar.

Every successful venture has to start with a clear vision of what you want to have in the end, so dream big and dig deep!

You might get the conversation going by asking and answering these questions:

  • How and when do you want to spend your time together?
  • What areas do you want your relationship to grow in?
  • How about your sex life?
  • What are your hopes and dreams for your family and for your children?
  • How do you want to parent?
  • What kind of friendships do you each value?
  • What are your hopes and dreams about your financial future?
  • How do each of you define your spirituality and how do you see this in your relationship?
  • Are there conflicts in any of these areas that you need to work through?
  • Are you feeling heard and understood by the other person?

Whether you’ve been together for six months or six decades, it’s important to dream and plan together so that you know you are both working to realize the same vision.  Don’t let you goals get and dreams get sidelined by a relationship not working well. I can help


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