Category Archives: Couples Therapy

Why “Being Nice” Isn’t a Compliment for Husbands

We’ve all been taught since we were little boys that “being nice” was the way to go.

That “being nice” was the higher road.

Conventional wisdom and even other marriage counselors suggest “being more nice” as a way to improve your marriage or relationship.

“If you were just nicer, things would be better” they say….

I want to share with you quickly 3 reasons WHY this is absolutely the wrong strategy for being a better husband and having a great marriage, AND 3 things to do instead: Continue reading

The Things We Fight About Are Never The Things We’re Fighting About

I have a weekly training series for husbands and wives where I send out new content every week to keep their marriages amazing.

It’s aptly called, Black Belt Husbands Weekly Training and Black Belt Wives Weekly Training. (no points for creativity)

For this week’s training for the guys, I talked about how we need to see through the fog of the topics we fight about to their real meaning, which is ALWAYS an emotional issues tucked below the surface.  The real reason for the fight.

And 3 easy steps to make that happen.

If you’re a husband and want to get in on the weekly training, click here.  If you’re a wife and would like to get in on it, click here.

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Divorce Survival Guide

Did a really cool podcast with Kate Anthony  last week. The focus of the podcast was a Divorce Survival Guide.

We tried to talk about how people make the decision to divorce and then we got totally derailed into some great conversation about the difference between men / women, how to get people to get help for marriage struggles, and whole bunch of other stuff.

Kate Anthony is a relationship coach for women who are on the fence in their marriage and she’s super insightful into this difficult period of contemplating divorce. Continue reading

Has Your Marriage Fallen Into The “Friend Zone”?

By the time many couples show up to couples therapy, their relationship mirrors more of a cohabiting partnership, rather than a passionate marriage.

Most of the partners in these relationships don’t hate each other, but they’re bored, they’ve lost interest and their relationship looks a little too much like brothers and sisters.

Although these couples are married, and they’ve entered the “friend zone” and their “friendliness” can be the poison pill in their relationship.
Continue reading

The Unrealistic Expectations for The Modern Husband

The 21st century seems to be a confusing time for many men. Many men are lost as to what their roles are supposed to be in the world at large and on the home front. Things were simpler in years past when roles and expectations of the husband were more clearly defined. Husbands of the past were generally expected to do three things good enough:

  1. Make money to support your family.
  2. Try not to hit your kids too much.
  3. Don’t get too drunk on the weekends.

Continue reading