Tag Archives: orange county couples therapy

9 Rules for the Modern Husband

Being a great husband isn’t hard, despite what we hear in pop-culture. I really dislike it when people talk about how much “hard work” is involved in marriage, because a relationship done well, is smooth like butter.

Relationships are not supposed to feel like a arduous endeavor that we simply have to endure. If that’s how we feel, something is very wrong.

However, what makes it “hard” for many people is that they are playing by a set of rules that don’t work anymore. Continue reading

Has Your Marriage Fallen Into The “Friend Zone”?

By the time many couples show up to couples therapy, their relationship mirrors more of a cohabiting partnership, rather than a passionate marriage.

Most of the partners in these relationships don’t hate each other, but they’re bored, they’ve lost interest and their relationship looks a little too much like brothers and sisters.

Although these couples are married, and they’ve entered the “friend zone” and their “friendliness” can be the poison pill in their relationship.
Continue reading

The Hardest Question to Answer for Modern Parents


If I did a survey of married couples and asked them to tell me how they define their role of being a spouse, I’m pretty sure I know what kind of answers I would get.

I know what most people would say because I ask this question to married people every day in my practice.

Continue reading

6 Relationship Goals To Consider for 2017

The end of December marks a great opportunity for all of us to reflect on 2016 and set some fun and exciting goals for 2017.

I’m kind of a goal-setting junkie to be honest.

Having clearly definable goals keeps me focused throughout the year…or else my ADD has a way of distracting me to the point of ruin. Ugh…

How about you? What are you goals? How do you want to spend the next year? What are you looking forward to doing more of? What do you want to change or what do you want different from 2016?

Continue reading

There’s Nothing Wrong With Your Relationship

Recently during a couples therapy session I told the couple I was working with that there’s nothing really wrong with their relationship, and in fact, they were fighting with each other in understandable and predictable ways. I said, “there’s nothing wrong with you guys!” I told them I could see how much each person deeply loves the other as evident by how much pain they frustration they experienced. Understandably, they were dismayed at my assessment and it seems they were expecting me to confirm and validate their own worst fears; that they did not in fact love each other, that they really hated one another and that their relationship was doomed, and that perhaps I was secretly thinking, “Wow – these people are really messed up!” Continue reading